Here's my no-fail, fool-proof, hack-proof Twelve-Step Program to Overcoming Your IRC Addiction!

Step 1: Admitting you have a problem. Do you spend countless hours typing away at people whom you only know by what is shown on a monitor. Admit it, you're addicted.

Step 2: Accept the fact that the IRC is not coming back. It doesn't take a hacker to know that "development" would have been finished days ago.

Step 3: Don't place blame. All the pent up anger and hostility towards whatever led to the downfall of the IRC is pointless, which brings us to step 4.

Step 4: Develop outside interests. Go on, shut off the computer and release that hostility in a suitable atmosphere.. say a sport.

Step 5: Resist the urge to telnet to GDFN or GRFN or many other local chat servers.. YOU DON'T NEED IT.

Step 6: Go to a public place, such as the mall, beach, etc. See these people? These people are exactly like those you converse with on the IRC. Go up to somebody. Start a converstaion.

Step 7: Refrain from using IRC-lingo in this conversation. Don't say "brb" as you leave. Don't say "/topic It's beautiful out today!" to change the subject. AND MOST IMPORTANT. When talking about yourself, use "I", not your nick.

Step 8: That cord running into your modem on the back of the computer can also be used to speak to people over a phone. Plug it into one, dial a number, and start talking.

Step 9: Take up a hobby, volunteer your time, or get a job. But rememeber, in these kinds of situations, typos are not permissable as they are on IRC. For example, a sign should read "NEW STUDENTS" and not "NEW STEWDENTS"

Step 10: Go lay down in bed. Close your eyes. This is what you've been missing when you are on the IRC in the wee hours of the morning. It's called sleep. You'll soon find yourself craving sleep, but that's okay. It's normal.

Step 11: School's about to start. Instead of turning on the computer when you get home, open your schoolbooks. Without IRC you will actually have time to study and do homework.. Your grades will rise, and Mom and Dad will be OH SO PROUD!

Step 12: GET A LIFE, EH?

Thanks.. any questions can be emailed to IRKAHOLICS@anonymous.org

Note: This was copied from a forward, The Mighty Katja gets all credit for it...
Do you always wear your shoes over your socks?


© 1995 Katja:author
© 1997 Tyger:HTML